So I generally try not to "air my dirty laundry"... but today... I'm sending out an SOS... because I'm nearly at my wits end.
This morning started off, just like a normal morning... we didn't go to church (we REALLY should have!!) and about an hour after Callie woke up she went to the snack cabinet and started searching for just the right snack. Naturally I assumed she was hungry for her breakfast (her typical schedule is: wake up, have a bottle and watch Elmo, play for an hour to an hour and a half... have breakfast)... so I prepared her oatmeal and a fruit... just like nearly every other morning. After I sat her in her high chair and we had blessed our meal, she refused to even take so much as one bite of her food. This isn't uncommon, but usually, with a few tricks or distractions, I can get her busy enough to not even realize she's eating as I spoon feed her. This morning wasn't like every morning. This morning she wasn't having it... not even one single bite. And she's started this new thing where she either spits out food if she does take a bite... or swats at the spoon heading her way. I offered her the spoon, to feed herself... and she threw it on the floor. She simply wasn't going to eat. Phillip had given up... he said, "fine... she doesn't want to eat... let her go play, but she doesn't get any snacks". I couldn't give up. My little 10th percentile for weight baby NEEDS her nutrition... so I continued... attempting every trick in my book.... but to no avail... she wouldn't eat. At this point Phillip had left to pick up an employee from the airport... so it was just Callie and I. She made her final swing and fruit and oatmeal ended up all over Phillip's stereo and our walls. I was done. She was a mess and I was done... so I walked away... leaving her (in a safe place!) crying in her high chair. I was so frustrated!!! I sort of expect that as she gets older she will become a picky eater (I feel like all of my siblings, including myself, were)... but not now. She's never been a good eater... with the exception of my mother, she'll eat ANYTHING for my mother. It's a constant battle to get anything into her little body...
So I guess what I'm asking for now... is advice. I know many of the readers on here are mothers... who have been through more trying times than what this is... but who have learned things that I have yet to learn. So I'm hoping that you will take the time to share some of your wisdom with me. I'm planning on spending some time researching what I should do. I'd love for eating to not be a battle for the next 18 years... but at this rate... I think I'll prepare for the worst! Callie really is a good baby... all other aspects of life are so much better than I ever could have hoped for, so I realize I'm blessed to have eating as my primary challenge. But still... I thought I would seek advice... from anyone willing to share.
After Callie and I had had our little "tiff"... and she and I were cleaned up from the splattered oatmeal... we spent some time snuggling and reading books. It's amazing how forgiving these little ones are, when she turned around mid-book and gave me a sweet little kiss and a hug... I knew she loved me more than anything. I still feel awful for leaving her in that moment... but I just needed a little space for a minute to re-gather myself. I love that little Noodle bug to pieces and I just want the best for her... nutrition included.
I'm sure most of your mom's out there are thinking "oh... if you only had a clue, Kristin!"... but thanks for reading and responding anyway :).
We're planning on having a fun afternoon of playing and maybe even going swimming at the public pool just one last time before it closes for the season.
Here's a fun photo... as a thanks for reading :)
Callie riding our weenie statue on our front porch...
The roses from Phillip...
Love and sweet Noodle pie kisses....
Kristin-With Leo I had no problems feeding him. He didn't start to become picky until he got old enough to realize his friends weren't all eating the same thing. As for Jacoby, at 10 months he is already starting to show signs of not wanting to eat whatever I give him. I just do my best and know that if he is really that hungry he will eat what I give him. If she's still bottle feeding she is still getting a lot of nutrients from that as well. And she'll let you know if she's hungry! And I agree with Phillip that if she doesn't eat what you are feeding her to not let her have snacks. That way she knows that she needs to eat what you are giving her. Just my thoughts...they of course are not law! :)
ReplyDeleteWade is a good eater for the most part, but he has days where he exerts his ability to make choices and choose not to eat something he loved the day before. He is also a low percentile of weight so I definitely hear you on not wanting them to skip meals. I think walking away when you need a minute is a good parenting skill, so don't feel bad! When Wade doesn't want to eat something that I know he likes, I just wait. So in your case, when he didn't want oatmeal for breakfast, it was all I offered at snack all morning. It was gone by 11 am. For other things, I choose another healthy option. Like he can have an apple if he doesn't want his strawberries or peas if he doesn't want broccoli. I say, "Do you want this one or this one?" If he doesn't want either, those are his options at the next meal or snack. If he doesn't want his main dish but will eat something healthier (i.e., doesn't want hamburger but will eat pears), I let that go. I just never go backward (you don't get mac and cheese if you don't want your fruit). As hard as it is to not feed him with his low weight, he does eat when he is hungry enough. I try not to make a big deal out of not eating or out of finally eating the thing after the 5th time I offer it that day. Then it's less of a battle of wills and they are "making the decision." Callie is at exactly the age where she is figuring out she gets a choice! Hope that helps!
DeleteThank you so much mommies!!! Dinner was a totally different story... she ate EVERYTHING!!! I guess it just took her all day to get hungry! Ugh... it's great hearing some other methods... sometimes even reading every book doesn't help! I really appreciate you all!
DeleteI remember a college class I had where the professor said that children are likely to eat in spurts. They may want nothing but peaches for a while, and then all of a sudden refuse peaches and want beans. I agree with the "no snacks" idea.
ReplyDeleteFrom the limitless wisdom of Grandfather. ;-)
Thank you Grandfather!!! This is helpful too... perhaps I'm just trying to force her to eat foods she just really isn't interested in.
DeleteI was told by a pediatrician that they consider it good eating if your child eats one decent meal every three days. I know that doesn't sound like much food, but if she is hungry, she will eat! If you want her to eat more solids, lower the amount she has in a bottle. But if the bottle is formula, she is getting a ton of nutrients! Also, by now, you can change her to a toddler formula, if you haven't already. They tend to have more calories then the infant formulas. Good luck!!!
ReplyDeleteI currently have her on the Similac Go and Grow formula for 9-24 months. I know she probably doesn't need to be on a bottle... but I feel like it helps her get nutrients that she might otherwise be lacking. I know you have tiny little people too... if she just wasn't barely hanging on in the 10th percentile I probably wouldn't care about her eating so much! The every 3 day thing is interesting... and looking back... really does make some sense, she does have a spurt where she actually eats an entire meal! (It's rare though... maybe once or twice a week). Thanks Mommy Mandi! What would I do without you!
DeleteYou're welcome! And parenthood is a just trial and error.....I have just had a bit more time for the error! My kids were both right around 8-12 percentile, too. Don't worry so much about the number. If she is healthy, happy, loves to play, and sleeps.....then she is doing fine. And I have seen her.....she is doing great!
ReplyDeleteMy pediatrician said something similar to yours Mandi, basically that you can't win the food battle...if they don't want to eat you can't make them. She told me as a transition from bottle to solids, start using a sippy cup because they tend to just drink for thirst rather than the comfort of sucking on the nipple and offering regular milk in it (mixed with a little formula if they don't like the taste). If using cows milk try not to let them drink more than 24oz a day otherwise they won't be hungry for the solids and since cows milk doesn't have all the extra goodies that formula does you don't want them to fill up on just the milk. She also said as they become more mobile they eat less, just because they don't want to sit there and eat, they want to be playing around.
ReplyDeleteSo try not to stress so much, you aren't starving her, she's healthy and happy.
Oh and PS Mavy is WAY more picky now than he was before...There have been days when all he will eat is string cheese.