James Urso... Poppa U

On February 5, Superbowl Sunday, the New England Patriots lost to the Giants... and the Urso family lost one of the greatest men of our time. 

James "Poppa U" Urso was diagnosed with Stage 4 Stomach Cancer in December of 2010.  After an unsuccessful surgical attempt to remove the cancerous tumor growing in his abdomen in January of 2011... he battled the great fight with chemotherapy and some "still in trial" medications and treatments in Boston.  December 2011, his physician told him that there was nothing else that could be done, so Poppa continued the fight until February 5, where he passed away, on his couch, just as he had always wanted, surrounded by the love of his life, Gloria "Nana" Urso, and his children.

As a family, we celebrated his life in a small, intimate memorial service (Poppa had asked to not have a funeral) held at my parents house in Derby on Tuesday evening, led by Rik Alspaw, family friend and the minister at my wedding.  Each of us girls wrote a little something to share at the service, and here is my tidbit:

From the day I met my Poppa… until Fred’s great adventure just a few weeks ago… he always loved me… always treated me just like his other grand kids.  I was never different, even if his blood didn’t flow through my veins.  He went above and beyond to be interested and invested in my life.  I’ll never forget the moment I called both him and Nana, sitting at the island in the kitchen down at the lake, and I announced my pregnancy.  He was crying.  He was thrilled, exhilarated.  Even more excited than my parents!

A random quote I remember from him:

*“Eat (blank), it’ll put hair on your chest”: I distinctly remember him telling me this, for as long as I can remember, and jumping at the opportunity to eat whatever it was, partially to make him proud… and secondly to “put hair on my chest”.  There was an aura about Poppa that just made you want to be around him, and want to be like him.  Thinking back on this quote now, I wonder if he ever considered the ill-effect this could have on us girls eating/drinking whatever it may be.

Perhaps it’s only because this rendezvous of mine happened so recently in memory… but I can remember every detail of that visit with him.  I know he didn’t want me to see him, as he was, but I didn’t see him as the very sick Poppa he was.  He looked just like himself to me… and maybe it was because I was trying to hard to see past what the stupid cancer had taken from him.  But his voice, his face, his hands… it was all my Poppa.  I can’t describe to you how content I am, that he held my baby… kissed her… hugged her… and that he then held my hand and told me that he loved me, and that he was thankful he got to meet his Sweet Caroline.  Other people may regret that trip… but I never will…

It is this man I have to thank for the life I lead now.  For the values, morals, and high expectations he instilled in Fad that pushed him to be the man he is today, who then, went above and beyond to be the most amazing father a girl could ever hope or dream of, and instilled the same beliefs in me.  Some people may say that I am not biologically an Urso, but I will tell you that I am who I am today because of his blood and that makes me one.

Father, you’ll never be THE Poppa U, so don’t stress yourself out trying to be him… but I know you will be just as amazing of a grandfather to Callie, and all of the little people to come… because he taught you how.  It was funny sitting in that parlor with you both on that Friday night… the resemblance was “uncanny”… things you say, gestures you do… the way you walk and wear your hat.  Poppa U live on through you, more than you’ll ever know. 

I am forever indebted to this man, my Poppa and there is no doubt in my mind that all of heaven is rejoicing and greeting him the same way we did when he walked down that hallway at the airport…  I think he’ll be waiting for us with a poster he made saying XXOO until all of us arrive and can celebrate eternity with him.

There is a story I have been waiting to post... simply because Fad (my dad) is so private.  So please let me explain "Fred's Big Adventure". 

Since the time Callie was born, I wanted her to have the chance to meet all of her living relatives.  Including Poppa U and Nana.  There just never seemed to be the right time to do this... so, one weekend in January, while Fad was out visiting in Boston... I bought a plane ticket out of Kansas City... and Callie and I flew to Boston.  We pulled up in front of my grandparents house, where my dad was, and I called him from my cell phone and told him... that we were parked in front of the house.  Shocked, as you can imagine, he came outside and snuggled his little "Pooda-head" Callie.  After some delicious Venice (Boston-style Pizza)... Fad introduced Callie to her Urso Great-Grandparents.  It's a moment I will never forget... sitting in the "parlor" (aka-living room) with Nana and Poppa... watching Nana play with her Sweet little Caroline (Sweet Caroline is the theme song for the Red Sox-- Sorry Meyer family! <--they're Yankees fans :) and Poppa, despite being as sick as he was (he could hardly stand), hugging, kissing, and joking just as he always had with me, with my baby... was one of my happiest moments of the year.

It was a crazy, spur of the moment decision to do this trip (truly it was something I had been wanting to do for a long time...) and I will remember it for as long as I live.


My Caroline Faith Van Court in the hands of Poppa James Urso
... a photo I will treasure forever...

How he will forever be remembered, as the good looking man he was!

Me and My Poppa U

Thank you all so much for the prayers and support during this hard time of losing such an amazing man.

Feel free to leave love and kind thoughts for the family to see on this guestbook page:

James "Poppa" Urso

  All our love...